Willie: Sales Meetings
If you work in sales like I do, then you’re probably as fortunate as I am to experience “sales meetings” and the accompanying “sales huddles”. In the world of commissioned sales, there’s never a reason to work only 40 hours a week. My manager is a genius when it comes to ensuring that we start [...]
Willie: Yet Another Open Letter, This Time For The Lunch Offender
C’mon, dude. The new Willie is putting a lot of work these days. I sweat through my suit every single day because I believe in being successful at what I do, and increasing the company’s bottom line. The only period of solace that I get during the day is that hour (or less) that I [...]
Willie:Open Letter To The Dude That Came To Work Sick
Dear Ol’ Dude: Just for the record, we’re still cool. I know that I have trouble remembering your name, but i’ll eventually get it. Anyway – here’s my gripe: While I can appreciate the fact that you work just as hard as anyone in this building, there are certain times where you just have to [...]
Willie: Trying To Understand “Self-Evaluations”
In light of recent events, let me first disclaim that this post has nothing to do with anything at my current employer. This is about a general concept based on past experiences. Besides, the new Willie wouldn’t put his company on blast. I’ve never fully understood the concept of “self evaluations”. (Honestly, never partially understood [...]
Willie: Open Letter To The Young Folks At Work
Dear young people at the job: I wanted to take a few moments to share some of my new found universal wisdom with you. Because of my recent enlightenment and current probational status, i’ve learned to look at the workplace in a completely different light. I was once where you are: young, spirited, vibrant, eager [...]
Requiem For A 3 Day Weekend
I woke up this morning and rejoiced, because I realized that my life is so much better than yours. While the rest of you were slumbering away your Saturday to kick off the 3 day weekend, I was in full suit and tie at the crack of dawn. I pulled down an 8 hour shift [...]
Willie: Sorry – I Didn’t Want To…
I am riddled with guilt today. Yesterday I commented that I was looking forward to a 14 hour workday because 2 of my coworkers called in. Well, the company sought to make me more of a man and tacked 2 more hours on to that. Thus, my work day began at 7 am and ended [...]
Willie: Thank You For Calling In
The last day of every month is a busy time at the company that I work for. Our sales quotas are broken down to a monthly cycle, so the last business day of the month is when most salespeople try to cram in as much work as they can to either hit their goal or [...]
Willie: I Am Thankful For “Call Night”
“Call Night.” Two of the most dreaded word in the world of sales. Every sales job that i’ve had, including this one, has required me to occasionally participate in the idiotic ritual of “dialing for dollars”. Today, my boss has decided that we need to stay for an extra 3 hours after work to drum [...]
Willie: My Response To The “Cease And Desist” Letter
I got a letter from the company the other day. I opened and read it. It said… well, you saw what it said. Here’s my HR-approved, legally safe response to the cease and desist letter served by my employer.
Willie: Cease And Desist
You may have noticed that I didn’t post anything on Monday. That’s because I spent all day at HR dealing with this “cease and desist” letter that I received from my job. I’ll have a response tomorrow. Full text after the jump:
Why I Won’t Help You (Willie) Part 2
Sorry that I haven’t been around for the last couple of days. Ran out of vodka. Got some Grey Goose today, and now I can cope with the world. Right before I left you hanging, I was whining about the different types of assholes customers that I tend to shun when they trudge into my [...]
Why I Won’t Help You (Willie) Part 1
I’ve said many times before that I work in sales. One character trait that’s essential to being successful in sales is the willingness to help people identify their needs, and to provide a solution that meets those needs. I usually don’t have a problem doing that – usually. I consider myself a pretty tolerant person, [...]
Just To Get In The Pants (Willie)
First day back from training, and my punk ass boss is on the sack again… He tells me that I need to “step up my production” this week because of the 2 days in training. I still have to meet my weekly goals or whatever. What he doesn’t understand is, I have two gripes about [...]
Being Re-trained Part 2 (Willie)
Today i’m going to conclude my “retraining” arc with a couple of clowns from my training class. The Germophobe- I had the pleasure of sitting next to a woman who carried around a 20 oz container of hand sanitizer at all times. No, this isn’t travel size – this is like a half gallon of milk [...]
Being Re-trained Part 1(Willie)
So here’s the deal: As I said in my intro video, I work in sales for this wack little regional company. Every few months or so, they come up with a new “selling method” that they want us to employ. Which means that every few months i’m taken out of the office for nearly a [...]
My First Job (Willie)
I decided that i’d use my first official post to tell you how the saga of William Q. Turner began. It’s a story that needs to be told, because it foreshadows all of my experiences with future whoredom: I became eligible for gainful employment nearly half a lifetime ago, when I turned 16. To say [...]
Meet Willie.
My name is Willie. The good folks at CorpWhore.com invited me to their wonderful, yet utterly depressing site to share my experiences with you. See, I hate my job. I hate my job more than anything that I have ever hated. More than life itself. I’m on a career path to nowhere. I describe the [...]
First Day Of Work In 2 Years
My life in a metaphor: It’s as if I had a decent long term relationship with my ex… well, i’m not going to really say decent… it was pretty cool in the beginning but fell off really hard at the end. So hard that she dumped me without notice and sent me spiraling through a [...]
The Passion of the Corporate Whore
Talked to a dude at work yesterday. I may have changed his life. He started off by asking me me what i’d been doing prior to working there. When I told him, he was all “Why are you HERE?” So I had to explain that at this point in my life I have no interest [...]
Leaving Our Mark
Here’s something that I though about a while back, but forgot to talk about (because I really didn’t have much to say while I was unemployed): I think many, if not most people struggle with the concept of work in modern society because most jobs are useless and ultimately have no real significance. The farmers [...]